


To my Dear Friend, why did you leave me all alone. Love, someone you don't remember.

by justyouwaitforit



Series: Haunted by memories of you (Where do you end so I can begin) [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Kinda, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22346647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justyouwaitforit/pseuds/justyouwaitforit
Summary: Do you recognise me? Do you remember me?Because I recognised you last night, and i couldn't stop remembering.
Series: Haunted by memories of you (Where do you end so I can begin) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1608580
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	To my Dear Friend, why did you leave me all alone. Love, someone you don't remember.

I saw you again last night

I knew it was coming, knew you would be there yet, somehow, I was still caught off guard

I saw you go up to someone (your sister? A friend? I don’t know the people important to you anymore (except that I’m not one of them))

You gave them a bone crushing hug, a hug that once upon a time I experienced everyday (people say my hugs are too tight. Maybe that’s because I learnt how to hug from you. Maybe it’s because I don’t want any of them to leave me (like you did))

I’m staring, so I wrench my eyes away, but they always return. Its harder to turn away each time and easier to go back (I don’t want to look away, who knows when we will meet again (will we meet again?))

Each time I look I hope to see you staring back but you never even look my way (I don’t know if having you look my way and having your eyes glance over, not recognising me (or not remembering me) would hurt more or less) (I wish you looked at me and only looked away. At least then I would know what I am to you)

I saw you again last night

I knew it was coming, knew you would be there yet, somehow, I was still caught off guard

I saw you go up to someone (your sister? A friend? I don’t know the people important to you anymore (except that I’m not one of them))

You gave them a bone crushing hug, a hug that once upon a time I experienced everyday (people say my hugs are too tight. Maybe that’s because I learnt how to hug from you. Maybe it’s because I don’t want any of them to leave me (like you did))

I’m staring, so I wrench my eyes away, but they always return. Its harder to turn away each time and easier to go back (I don’t want to look away, who knows when we will meet again (will we meet again?))

Each time I look I hope to see you staring back but you never even look my way (I don’t know if having you look my way and having your eyes glance over, not recognising me (or not remembering me) would hurt more or less) (I wish you looked at me and only looked away. At least then I would know what I am to you)

If you looked would you see me? I’ve changed so much in 5 years (I cut my hair) (I stand straighter) (I am confidant in who I am) (I am all the things I admired about you)

The person you knew is gone (so why is she looking at you with that longing expression)

I want to know about that 5 years we spent apart, how you’ve changed, how you’ve stayed the same (I want you to know about that 5 years we spent apart, how I’ve changed, how I’ve stayed the same)

I thought I was over you (your smile has ripped open a million old scars)

You don’t know how much I want you to recognise me. To come up and say how proud you are of what I have become. To wrap me up in one of your strong hugs. (I’ve changed so much I doubt you would recognise me) (how ironic those changes are what I want you to acknowledge)

I want you to come over so we can talk (I could do that too) (I want to approach you but when I take a step I’m 7 again, the nervous kid, the loner (the weird one) in a corner with her nose in a book) (you don’t know I no longer need a book everywhere I go, I no longer need a way to escape in every moment) 

When I look up again your gone (It’s probably for the best. We probably won’t meet again) (probably means nothing)

You never knew how much you meant to me (how fitting that you don’t realise how much seeing you breaks everything I worked hard to create) (Don’t even realise that you broke something to begin with) 

Do you remember me and the time we spent together? Do you recognise me or am I just a blur in your memories, another school mate? Was I just someone you spent time with due to no other options (That’s why I cant go to you, the idea of you not remembering is the most terrifying thing in the world to me) (you were everything to me) (what was I to you?)

The person you knew is gone (so why is she looking at you with that longing expression)

I want to know about that 5 years we spent apart, how you’ve changed, how you’ve stayed the same (I want you to know about that 5 years we spent apart, how I’ve changed, how I’ve stayed the same)

I thought I was over you (your smile has ripped open a million old scars)

You don’t know how much I want you to recognise me. To come up and say how proud you are of what I have become. To wrap me up in one of your strong hugs. (I’ve changed so much I doubt you would recognise me) (how ironic those changes are what I want you to acknowledge)

I want you to come over so we can talk (I could do that too) (I want to approach you but when I take a step I’m 11 again, the nervous kid, in a corner with her nose in a book) (you don’t know I no longer need a book everywhere I go, I no longer need a way to escape in every moment) 

When I look up again your gone (It’s probably for the best. We probably won’t meet again) (probably means nothing)

You never knew how much you meant to me (how fitting that you don’t realise how much seeing you breaks everything I worked hard to create) (Don’t even realise that you broke something to begin with) 

Do you remember me and the time we spent together? Do you recognise me or am I just a blur in your memories, another school mate? Was I just someone you spent time with due to no other options (That’s why I cant go to you, the idea of you not remembering is the most terrifying thing in the world to me) (you were everything to me) (what was I to you?)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr at https://justyouwaiforit.tumblr.com/


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